Long Time Ago I Thought Marks Were Everything

Long time ago I thought marks were everything. I thought it would define my future. I thought my life would depend on it. Since Elementary School until Junior High School I dedicated myself to get the top rank in class. I studied really hard, and i didn’t even go out with friends. All I thought was to be on the first rank. I never considered to be on the second. I was so diligent, and I even spent my break time in library while all my friends went to grab their lunch. Years passed and people knew me as a very smart kid because I always got the first rank for 6 years in a row in Elementary School and 3 years in a row in Junior High School. My parents were so proud of me, and they put the label “clever” on me. Well we all know that when someone puts label on someone else, it means they expect that person to be just like what they expect forever.

However, things changed when I got in Senior High School. At first, I could catch up with the others and got the third place in my first year, but after that I got thrown away. My major was science, I didn’t know why did the school committee placed me there eventhough I chose language major in questionnaire sheet. Well maybe it was my parents consideration, because they chose to place in science. I didn’t know much about science. I always got remedial almost in every test. I was no longer on top rank, not even on top 5. That was a very hard time. My parents yelled at me because I couldn’t exceed their expectation anymore. I was so depressed. Then I chose to join extracurricular. It was school magazine club. I liked it a lot. I enjoyed working with people, listening to their ideas, and I even got chosen as the leader in my second year. Making the school magazine wasn’t something easy, but at least it could distract my mind from thinking about marks.

Later in the next semester, the chief of OSIS hired me to join them. I was gladly accepted that, and that was the start of my experience working in organization. With so many people and projects, I learned more than just remembering formulas and counting chemical substances. I learned to do public speaking, I learned to behave well in a meeting, I learned to arrange schedule and even more I learned something harder than making magazine, I learned to hold an event. One thing I could understand from those experiences was that the beautiful sound of audiences’ applause, the shaking hands from teachers, and the congratulation texts from people after succeeding an event was much more meaningful than what I got on those first ranks in Elementary and Junior High School.

That’s the moment when I knew that real lesson is outside classroom. I realized that I had been living but had I never feel alive. I woke up, studied, chased top marks, and repeated that everyday for 9 years. Since then I understand that what I’m looking for was not marks anymore, it’s just a number on a piece of paper. What I’m looking for is experience, something meaningful in life that I can share with everybody. It is also a motivation for me that I can’t judge someone by their score. Like what I have said, it’s just a number on a piece of paper, and no body is supposed to be defined by that. `                  “



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